Bible Study Fellowship

I joined BSF during one of the most uncertain but comfortable times in my life. I resigned from my work in 2019 so going back to my hometown and working at home remotely gave me that convenience and comfort of being with my family. 

It was tempting to just stay as is, and I think it's not wrong naman in itself. 

But as how I am stuck, I was also stuck in how I am getting to know God more, in terms of intimacy with Him and following Him beyond comfort.

The book of Matthew, was one journey that led me to grow more in that aspect. 

I think the heaviest part and the most challenging one for me was the set lessons on the cost of following Christ, particularly the Sermon on the Mount and the series on the Pharisees. 

Through these lessons, I was always mindblown by how Jesus always brings back everything to His commitment to journey our hearts. It was particularly challenging for me because I am always confronted with the question-- how's your heart for Christ? I am always confronted by that question, no matter how I thought it was knowledge about Christ that i needed. 

In hindsight, during that season where the world is hurting and everything seems to be more difficult, I tried to build walls to desensitize myself from the pains brought by worries about increasing cases, friends getting hurt, heartbreaks brought by unrequited attention, but that question always breaks the bricks that I slowly was building towards loving others, even if it means accepting what I cannot change and tearfully bringing forward these pains to God. 

As sobering as it may be, I am also grateful that this makes me see grace to be more beautiful than ever. 

I am grateful first and foremost for God's grace to reveal Himself to us, and for his commitment to us and our character as we desire to know more of Christ and the beauty in Him.

The more you see your sinfulness when compared to Christ's high standards, the more I understand how deep His grace for us is.

I am thankful to my groupmates who did not withhold their learnings, experiences, even their hearts. 

Jesus called us to Himself, and that call is a moment by moment decision to surrender, to obey, and to love the Lord and others. Honestly, I still find it difficult to be consistent in finishing questions weekly, and sometimes I could only see myself failing. But I pray that behind that reality of confronting my humanity, is my discovery Jesus's divinity.  

I still feel uncertain and comfortable, but as real as the grace that God shows in the learnings in the book of Matthew, is His promise of certainty and call to love beyond discomfort. 

May we continue to grow more towards Christlikeness.

Kay Lord ang papuri!