Sunday morning, I woke up with my mom and aunt exclaiming that my puppy is sick. Immediately I thought about the worst case scenario of losing him, but I kept composure and thought it could be that he will live. During that day I was glad I didn't have anything to do, and made sure I will bring him to the doctor or find him some medicine. Thankful for my friend, Dr. Lei, who replied to my queries and worries. We got him some medicine for diarrhea, and also did some deworming. The next day, we sought to send him to a pet clinic as he was already vomiting despite us not giving him anything to eat.
I was glad we could finally provide him some medicines, and before I left for my trip overseas, I thought he surely will be okay in no time. I brushed off worrying worst case scenarios about me not seeing him again if that's the case.
We continued with the IV, then my brother took care of him at home. It was so weird and also sad for us seeing him plastered like that, so weak and frail, for such a pup that's brimming with energy and playfulness.
I left the country with hopes that I get to see him again when I be back, but I guess it'll have to be in another life.
I took my Calculus class today after a week break. I was stressing out and frustrated on the results of my last long exam that when our professor said he'd be discussing the answers, I was preparing my heart for the pain it will cause. But the news that I was to receive minutes after broke me.
My mom said that Johnny wasn't breathing anymore. And I cried.
While my teacher and classmates were droning on the integrals and derivatives in Statistics, I was bawling my eyes out and trying to hold my composure. My family back in the Philippines was talking about how they found him, and plans on preparing to bury him.
My brother offered to call me, but I said I was in my class and that we could talk tomorrow because I'd need to cry first. He agreed and said that he'd need to do it too.
Losing Johnny was so painful for me. I feel so bad and also missing out that I had to be so far from them while all of these things are happening. Early today I was having heated exchanges with my mom of bringing him to the vet, even if I feel like we are already slowly losing him. I held on to hope that I might be able to see him again. Writing these with my eyes blurred with tears, it hurts me to realize that I will be going back home and not see this playful and thoughtful pup ever again. I will not be able to scold him not to bite me, or even talk to when my work seems so mundane and routinary.
Johnny was a sweet addition to my life when we saw cute and fluffy he was. Deciding to bring him to the city was also something unplanned, yet we enjoyed and loved. We named him after the celebrity that won a defamation case just because we thought it would be funny, and also a commemoration. We brought him to the vet last June too when one morning we found him vomiting. The doctor said he just had a case of amoeba and that we'd need to change his diet. He was supposed to get vaccines since he's almost gonna be old enough for it. Apparently, the succeeding cancellations that we did proved fatal for him, in grounds we could not reverse.
Even if how many tearful "I'm sorry"'s we will blurt out, it cannot bring back Johnny. Time has passed, and we could not reverse what has been done. I have thanked the Lord for this delightful puppy, and though it's going to be painful hereon, I will always be grateful for the quick season of bursts of affection from him.
Run free, Johnny.
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