New Year, New Blog Home

Hi everyone, thank you for being with me for the past years here in blogger. Since I have been maintaining another site with the stories that God is doing in my life, I have decided to close this site and continue writing there. 

While it's goodbye for Blogger, it's hello for Wordpress!

Come, join me here: http://onefaithstep.wordpress.com

Remembering to remember

It's the last day of the year already. I honestly felt it was a blur. I came in 2024 somehow busy and already preoccupied with a big role that I will be undertaking. I was chill about 2024, yet also caught surprised with things God can do!

I typed "2024" in the search box and Google Photos showed me the smiles, the scenes, the people, the conversations, events, and milestones for the past 12 months. As usual, I was in-between flights which I recall made me perpetually tired. I had different sets of farewell meetups as friends left the country in search of greener pastures. Some did homecoming, while some meetups were me flying in. In all these interactions, I praise God for He is a God who is very much familiar with relationships. In hindsight, it's relationships that greatly influenced my decisions this year, as I hinge all my decisions on the most important relationship I have -- God. 

As I continue to journey with God, I find myself changing as well. All that in response to the qualities that I get to discover about Him. Here are God's qualities that I had the privilege to learn and continue to be reminded of this 2024. 

1. God's heart as a father; After the pandemic, God showed me that His heart for me is not to stay as I am. Counselling played a big part in seeing that happen, and He is not so concerned with what I can do for him than how I am with him. He is not just a boss, a supervisor, a disciplinarian, but above all is a God whose heart is committed to how intimate I get with Him.  
2. God's sovereignty; Hand-in-hand with God's commitment as a father is His sovereignty. I have a tendency to get anxious over things I don't understand or can't control. As I surrender to God's leading, I remember that He holds times and seasons, so there is no coincidence in His rule. 
3. God's timing; It was amusing that after the varied experiences of seeing God orchestrate events in my life, every plan that gets derailed or cancelled is an anticipation of His finalized schedule. 
4. God as a God of restoration and friendships; One of the major projects I led this year was really helpful in honing my leadership experiences. The principle in my life that God taught me was that we were brothers and sisters first, then co-workers. This also meant commitment to them in communication and understanding. It's interesting to note too that more than cross-cultural strategies is following biblical culture above all.    
5. God is personal; I came in 2024 carrying some learnings of the previous year as God started to work on me regarding His presence in my life. He was committed to remind me that I am on a spiritual journey with Him as I trust that everyone I am hoping to reach also is in one themselves. This reality helps me remember that God is dealing with me, and that it's important that I am communing with Him, not just trying to follow rules imposed by work or ministry. After all, it all goes back to God and me.
6. God is faithful; Thinking of January to now, God didn't leave us hanging. He carried me through uncertainties, answered troubled thoughts, and consoles disturbed emotions. A counselor told me that the best conversation to have with God is that of honesty, no matter how bloody, how raw, how seemingly painful it is. I had my share of these conversations with God, and I should say that in these conversations that felt the most vulnerable are the ones that led to deeper intimacies with the Lord.      
7. God as a giver of every good and perfect gift; In this season of my life, I found myself intentionally praying for desires that surfaced in the past years. These are rarely found on objects anymore. They come in the form of situations, changes on realities that seemed to be hopeless, relationships, and outcomes. People left, some arrived, some connections happened though some also stopped. It's just amazing how this year, God taught me that He is still the best gift giver and that His heart is always good.   

God is a God of times and seasons, and my prayer is that I will always be in awe of His goodness, glory, and grandeur. After all, God will not compromise His glory to another, and it's my prayer that I will never run out of wonder in who He is. 

Let's run towards 2025 with hope on a God who is already there.

"The saying is trustworthy, for:

If we have died with him, we will also live with him;

if we endure, we will also reign with him;

if we deny him, he also will deny us;

if we are faithless, he remains faithful—

for he cannot deny himself."

2 Timothy 2:10-13

Some photos of the year that was...

    

A Letter from my Past Self, on my birthday

 I think this is one of the best decisions I made in my 30th-- to write my 31 year old self. I used FutureMe, and I am grateful to whoever introduced this to me. Happy birthday, Jonah. :)

I love what I wrote, so I will share this here: 

Dear FutureMe,

Right now ari ko sa Tubungan, writing down this letter to you. It's our 30th birthday, and honestly you're not sure if you're going to arrive at being 50. But here are 30 things I would like you to remember as what I learned so far in our life.

1. Family is constant -- and they are also a pain in the ass. You cannot change them. Continue to love them by constantly praying for them.
2. You are going to be tempted, but remember that what you feel -- it's not real. Emotions are just proof that you are vulnerable.
3. Boundaries will not always be welcomed. Do it anyway.
4. You need pen and paper.
5. Bring tissue and wet wipes while travelling. Also chopsticks.
6. Don't drain your battery and remember gadgets that have batteries because maguba na sya if hindi na pag-gamiton (remember your Kindle)
7. You need to sleep.
8. Reach out. Share. Laugh at yourself.
9. Rest. Schedule your year around vacations.
10. A rested leader will also find rested followers.
11. Create. Enjoy how God designed you.
12. Pay all your debt.
13. It's not worth it to have debt for gadgets.
14. Communicate, especially if you don't understand.
15. Don't depend on feelings.
16. Wash your face every night. Exercise. Walk - move.
17. Buy neutrals.
18. Dresses are good for travelling light.
19. Friendships are not made overnight, but some people do connect with you easily.
20. Cooking can be learned. Character is built. You have a choice.
21. Appreciate. Affirm. Encourage.
22. Helping another person is not always helpful.
23. Read.
24. Learn something new everyday.
25. Friendship is a commitment and a 2-way street.
26. Prioritize important over the urgent.
27. Relationships first.
28. It's still going to be God's word.
29. Be honest with God.
30. You need God.

You can add to the list.
For now, enjoy your day and remember -- bask in God's embrace and approval of you.
I love you Jon, don't be too hard on yourself. <3

proof of life

One of my favorite hobbies is to read and re-read my past journal entries. I maintain two spaces -- a ministry update blog at http://seventhousandmore.blog and this one. I don't get to update these spaces as frequently as I wanted, but I hope that even though I fail in keeping it my desire to do it won't fade. :P 

I am back in the capital city to be able to fill in some duties for an organization I am a part of. I still am a freelance IT consultant and I do love my job. Compared to the past years, I am currently in the interaction design of the ministry I am serving. I didn't expect I would enjoy it. I have been integrating my love for serving people and my IT skills in creating solutions to problems and in innovating the present. Needless to say, Mondays are fun for me. :)) 

On the other hand, I have been praying to visit a new country this year. I didn't expect that desire to grow but I am trusting the Lord to bring me there. If you would like to join me in prayers or for anything else, you are welcome to send me a DM and I can share you the tumblr space where I keep my prayer concerns as I prepare to fly there. 

I still cry whenever some of our dogs would leave to their respective owners. 
I still buy books and not read them (though I hope to improve on my yearly book goals!) 
I am still in love with global cultures and global languages. 

I would want to continue to fall in love with Jesus. <3

 

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

Colossians 3:1-3 
Photo by Mikeel

久しぶり。

今日日本へ行きました！
２年後またこの国に戻りました。

Hanggang jan na lang siguro ang makakaya kong Nihongo for now. Naubos na lahat ng pandemic, etc. Just glad that I was able to fly back here, meet new people, and even be amazed by how madiskarte Filipinos are. 

Hoping to be able to create a travel vid for this whole experience! Here with my mom and her friend, please pray for a safe and meaningful trip! 

we lost Johnny today

 Sunday morning, I woke up with my mom and aunt exclaiming that my puppy is sick. Immediately I thought about the worst case scenario of losing him, but I kept composure and thought it could be that he will live. During that day I was glad I didn't have anything to do, and made sure I will bring him to the doctor or find him some medicine. Thankful for my friend, Dr. Lei, who replied to my queries and worries. We got him some medicine for diarrhea, and also did some deworming. The next day, we sought to send him to a pet clinic as he was already vomiting despite us not giving him anything to eat. 

I was glad we could finally provide him some medicines, and before I left for my trip overseas, I thought he surely will be okay in no time. I brushed off worrying worst case scenarios about me not seeing him again if that's the case. 

We continued with the IV, then my brother took care of him at home. It was so weird and also sad for us seeing him plastered like that, so weak and frail, for such a pup that's brimming with energy and playfulness. 

I left the country with hopes that I get to see him again when I be back, but I guess it'll have to be in another life. 

I took my Calculus class today after a week break. I was stressing out and frustrated on the results of my last long exam that when our professor said he'd be discussing the answers, I was preparing my heart for the pain it will cause. But the news that I was to receive minutes after broke me. 

My mom said that Johnny wasn't breathing anymore. And I cried. 

While my teacher and classmates were droning on the integrals and derivatives in Statistics, I was bawling my eyes out and trying to hold my composure. My family back in the Philippines was talking about how they found him, and plans on preparing to bury him.

My brother offered to call me, but I said I was in my class and that we could talk tomorrow because I'd need to cry first. He agreed and said that he'd need to do it too.

Losing Johnny was so painful for me. I feel so bad and also missing out that I had to be so far from them while all of these things are happening. Early today I was having heated exchanges with my mom of bringing him to the vet, even if I feel like we are already slowly losing him. I held on to hope that I might be able to see him again. Writing these with my eyes blurred with tears, it hurts me to realize that I will be going back home and not see this playful and thoughtful pup ever again. I will not be able to scold him not to bite me, or even talk to when my work seems so mundane and routinary. 

Johnny was a sweet addition to my life when we saw cute and fluffy he was. Deciding to bring him to the city was also something unplanned, yet we enjoyed and loved. We named him after the celebrity that won a defamation case just because we thought it would be funny, and also a commemoration. We brought him to the vet last June too when one morning we found him vomiting. The doctor said he just had a case of amoeba and that we'd need to change his diet. He was supposed to get vaccines since he's almost gonna be old enough for it. Apparently, the succeeding cancellations that we did proved fatal for him, in grounds we could not reverse. 

Even if how many tearful "I'm sorry"'s we will blurt out, it cannot bring back Johnny. Time has passed, and we could not reverse what has been done. I have thanked the Lord for this delightful puppy, and though it's going to be painful hereon, I will always be grateful for the quick season of bursts of affection from him.

Run free, Johnny. 

 

the day i got my third life

When you get face to face with death, you'll realize life is actually simple. Not that I always face that circumstance, but yesterday was supposed to be my last. It made me think about the possible reasons why. These are the ones I came up with, and I think what happened is actually an answered prayer.

A fun and chill trip to the local waterfall became an extreme outdoor trip for me when I tried to slide down a slippery rock and got myself in a deeper part of the water, gasping for breath. Good thing someone was able to pull me out of the depths and I was able to regain balance. The back of my head throbbed like crazy. The stress and the panic caused me to even feel the ache today. 

As I was processing what happened on the possibility of dying, I realized that God had answered several of my prayers that day. 

First, I realized I was grateful to have people to trust. Probably some months ago, I would have beaten myself with guilt over being a burden to others around me. I might have felt bad to have lived, after causing people around me some concern over my lack of self-responsibility. I have my share of triggers and back stories that's why it could let me think about that, and the part where I felt safe to have it handled that way was an answered prayer of how God had brought me to grow in trusting His protection and security for me. 

Second, a reminder on the brevity of life and living for what matters. Should I have died that day, I won't be able to experience the benefits of the money I have saved up for the future. I wouldn't have been able to appreciate the sleepless nights that let me finish some tasks when my lifeless body need not say anything more. My family won't be able to receive the realization of plans that I have been working towards because of an unfinished plan. My life should have stopped, and if I lived for something other than the eternal, then it ended just like that. 

Third, the realization that I have learned to rest on God's sovereignty and protection. When I got out of the water, it took me a lot of time to process that it could be my last day. But since I was surrounded with people who could draw me out of the water immediately, the possibility of me drowning was low. But still, it doesn't change the fact that I could have died of a heart attack or shock, or something. When I left the water, I just felt at peace. I didn't think it would be a traumatic experience, but rather it helped me strengthen my resolve to learn how to swim. 

I felt like I grown closer to the people whom I went with, but my hope is that I would be able to discern what louder message God wanted me to hear or realize because of that situation. For sure, I wouldn't want it to happen again, so I pray that I would be able to find what God wants to tell me as soon as possible. 

I know that the moment sure was already past me, but I pray that my days ahead would be marked by intentionality that this situation would want to sink in me, pun intended.    

Bible Study Fellowship

I joined BSF during one of the most uncertain but comfortable times in my life. I resigned from my work in 2019 so going back to my hometown and working at home remotely gave me that convenience and comfort of being with my family. 

It was tempting to just stay as is, and I think it's not wrong naman in itself. 

But as how I am stuck, I was also stuck in how I am getting to know God more, in terms of intimacy with Him and following Him beyond comfort.

The book of Matthew, was one journey that led me to grow more in that aspect. 

I think the heaviest part and the most challenging one for me was the set lessons on the cost of following Christ, particularly the Sermon on the Mount and the series on the Pharisees. 

Through these lessons, I was always mindblown by how Jesus always brings back everything to His commitment to journey our hearts. It was particularly challenging for me because I am always confronted with the question-- how's your heart for Christ? I am always confronted by that question, no matter how I thought it was knowledge about Christ that i needed. 

In hindsight, during that season where the world is hurting and everything seems to be more difficult, I tried to build walls to desensitize myself from the pains brought by worries about increasing cases, friends getting hurt, heartbreaks brought by unrequited attention, but that question always breaks the bricks that I slowly was building towards loving others, even if it means accepting what I cannot change and tearfully bringing forward these pains to God. 

As sobering as it may be, I am also grateful that this makes me see grace to be more beautiful than ever. 

I am grateful first and foremost for God's grace to reveal Himself to us, and for his commitment to us and our character as we desire to know more of Christ and the beauty in Him.

The more you see your sinfulness when compared to Christ's high standards, the more I understand how deep His grace for us is.

I am thankful to my groupmates who did not withhold their learnings, experiences, even their hearts. 

Jesus called us to Himself, and that call is a moment by moment decision to surrender, to obey, and to love the Lord and others. Honestly, I still find it difficult to be consistent in finishing questions weekly, and sometimes I could only see myself failing. But I pray that behind that reality of confronting my humanity, is my discovery Jesus's divinity.  

I still feel uncertain and comfortable, but as real as the grace that God shows in the learnings in the book of Matthew, is His promise of certainty and call to love beyond discomfort. 

May we continue to grow more towards Christlikeness.

Kay Lord ang papuri! 

of languages and cultures

When I was young, I usually play the game "World Languages". I would guess which country a proverb is from. This made me enjoy discovering about World languages and the people they represent. It also made me happy that I know many languages! 

When I was in elementary school, we celebrate the United Nations month during October. This is one of my favorite events in school. I am excited to see different national costumes. I also feel happy when I recognize many countries. 

But then later on, I lost my interest in all these because I became busy in my studies. I did not find the use of learning many languages. 

It was only during my university days that I got this interest back. I met many people since then. From Koreans to Africans, and from Indonesians to Americans. My interest about different cultures also returned. 

I was able to travel to different countries also. I realized that it is amazing that even if there are different cultures, and languages, we still look for the same things. We look for acceptance, respect, friendship, laughter, and fun. We might not be so different after all. 

What brought back my love for languages and culture? When I got to know the creator of these different cultures, who is God. He is creative, and He loves each and every person in this world. 

It is said in the Bible, 

From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’
Acts 17:26-27

God sees us all as valuable. God thought about you. He has a plan for your life. I realized that we are all different, but we are loved by one God. When I learned God is interested in me, I learned to be interested in others too. This time, for the right reasons-- let them know about the greatest lover of souls, Jesus.

i accidentally deleted my Japan pictures and in the betweens

 I am in transition, again. I took the time to organize the files I have on my laptop and as a resolve, I bought a new HDD to have a new home for them. I don't know what I was thinking but instead of just putting my files in the new HDD, I copied them from the old HDD and even if it did not transfer well, I erased all the files on the old HDD. Later I realized that ALL of the documentation I did for the Japan trip last year was there, unbacked up. 

So yeah, here I am thinking about the what-ifs and making sense of the possibilities of having new space for new memories just to ease the disappointment. I still keep my hopes up that I will get to visit Japan again, soon.

Jesus is God

Yes, that’s what the bible says. It doesn’t matter what I think, what other people think. What the world says, even. This lent, I got into a journey of, for lack of a better word, examination of my faith. It started with a movie entitled “Magdalena” which told a story in the perspective of someone who was freed by Jesus from bondage. What a bummer when the following night I was confronted again with the reality of my weakness. It led me to assess the reality of the relationship I have with him which started a lot of years before. When the reality of these weaknesses resurface, I have learned that the only way I could make sense of the situation is when I return to the decision that started it all, and reiterate to myself the Gospel. 

Reading the book He Chose the Nails by Max Lucado started the search in my heart, and led me to remember the frailty and of the stubbornness of it. I remember swaying in the hammock outside our house, reading the words carefully crafted by the author, examining each motivation that God has for his plan for mankind— which is to save them from their sins. And as I draw closer to the realization of my own frailty and filth, all the more I am convinced again that this soul needs saving. 

Being at home in a world that seemingly stopped, the silence of the otherwise hustling surroundings loudened the need of my heart to stop and listen to remember the gift of life Jesus offers— through a paradox of his death. Sensing the awakened desire to dig deeper, I watched Magdalena again the following day as I gave myself the time to meditate upon the events of how Jesus walked that road to Calvary. The Good Friday that succeeded was a much needed rest, not just for my body but for my mind. I continued reading the same book, and realized that the desire to know more about Jesus just increased. 

The following day, I watched the American Gospel: Christ Crucified documentary and again got mindblown by the presentation of how costly it was for God to redeem mankind from its pit of sin. And that was when I was reminded that the life lived in safety is never what God wanted for me to have. The call to follow Jesus has always been that of risk because Jesus did not come to make people comfortable. The ransom that God had to give to appease His wrath for mankind led a sacrifice willingly given by God himself. As I wrapped my mind around that truth, I realize that one cannot just agree and do nothing. There has to be change. That change for me turned out to be a subscription to an RZIM Course to aid my continually hungry mind to understand and know God.

My mom watched certain parts of that documentary with me, and while we were at the dinner table I did not expect her to ask a follow-up question of what she heard from that film. She asked if that movie was about Christ's death on the cross, and I answered with a swift yes which then ensued a discussion of the purpose of that film. I then explained the essence of how I understood it which was basically about the reason why Jesus had to die on the cross, and how it is the greatest and only expression for mankind's ransom for a death punishment. Which sadly, many are having false preachings about this beautiful exchange. 

The succeeding Sunday's commemoration of Christ's resurrection opened up a whole new lens for me. I started the apologetics course I took the day before and was ignited to know more about defending my faith. Though as Ravi Zacharias expounded from Peter's letter, I have to first set apart Jesus in my heart, then proceed with the noble task of giving an answer when asked about that which I deem important. Delving further in this world of apologetics reminded me that it's not just giving answers to questions that a follower of Christ should be pursuing, but to be concerned about the person himself as he tries to ask questions, which are just a glimpse of what's really happening inside him. 

As I continued with the first three courses, I was reminded with the way how I should view suffering and how I should familiarize myself with different lenses to view life with, yet still be assured of Jesus' absolutes. Later on today, I watched Jesus, a two-hour stage play. It was deep in the night but considering that tomorrow will be a start of another week, I thought indulging the remaining hours to remind myself of the lenten season won't hurt. So it's just quite funny how I'd tear up on certain scenes when Jesus' character was being magnified. Such ones were about his healing of the blind man near Bethesda, and how he defended the prostitute who was about to be stoned to death. I felt just poked to the heart as I was reminded of the character of the God whom I worship, and how I should ask him to give me the same heart that he also has! Oh how different this Jesus is, and how ironic that I might be one of those who might sneer at him if I were in that timeline! Strangely though, the principles which stood out to me were also those which I learned from my courses as if to be reminded about and to be emphasized to me again— the part where God left the ninety-nine to pursue one and how we ought to answer questions with regard to the real state of the questioner himself. 

This weekend was anything but stale. I could enumerate different reasons why but I could only pinpoint one thing: God's glory and His sovereignty. He desires us to know him more as much as He wanted to reveal himself to us. Isn't it comforting to know that this God whom we wanted to pursue is also in the business of committing himself to pursue you first?

Won't you wanna get to know this God? Let's talk. 

A Year-end Essay in February

The past year was full of transitions. I could write a lot of melancholic thoughts about letting go and settling in, or adapting to a new but familiar place, but I guess all my posts are just like that. I figured it might be time to try something new. Something upbeat. Something else. Something else that could capture what makes my 2019 different! But let me see if I can keep the pace. 😏

I entered 2019 with a hopeful heart for what God will do. I readied myself with a mindset that there might be big changes, but I never really imagined things would be like this until they finally happened to me. One of them was the fulfilment of a daydream of serving in whatever capacity God has designed me for. It also includes leaving a certain lifestyle into somewhere else which I never knew I would enjoy and embrace well. That's just the start. I guess you'd have to read on if you'd want to know the details. 

As for my highlights, I've selected these which are either new or too impactful that they changed the trajectory of my life. Big ones include my resignation from my first job to work as a digital nomad and starting up communities of faith and tech here in my home city. Some of the photos show the people whom God allowed me to meet as I transition back here. I am grateful and privileged that I get to cross paths with them!

What does faith and tech look like in Iloilo?
Here's a first. #indigitousph (c)Mikeel 

We praise God for the new coffeeshop with which we met for #digitalmissions.
Thank you, Riverun Craft Coffee! Photo grabbed from them too.

On the other hand, I praise God for proving that He really cared about friendships! When I relocated to Iloilo, He led me to a set of Christians who I think identified with my burden (and the blessing) of being a digital nomad. We are a mix of people from different occupations who were brought together by serving God through Indigitous #Hack Iloilo. On a side note though, I find it amusing that we lived in a really small world of connections because our friends somewhat know one another. Working together for #Hack led us to open up topics in life-to-life experiences, specifically relationships. It was actually just one session in our chat conversation but for some reason which was beyond me, we decided to form this group (which I am still grateful to God for!). We called ourselves the Shipmates— navigating the seas of “-ships”... together. Cheesy, I know.

The Shipmates (c)Mikeel

Of course, travelling has been one of the best experiences this year. But it's by God's grace that I got to be in places where I have never set foot before. Adding Addis Ababa to my visited cities was like a bucket list accomplishment for it was previously a city that I just get to read from the list of timezones! Bonus part was meeting inspiring brothers and sisters there, and getting encouraged in what God is doing in Digital Missions! Here are some shots from my travels:

A Taiwan-derland visit to Ying De University from Meteor Garden, among others, with the #FirstbornSquad.

Coffee roasting is made before brewing and a sidewalk seat with the locals is just a treat in Addis.

Made a new friend from the US during a trip to Singapore.

Went to see Japan autumn to reminisce the old and make new memories.
また日本へ行ったことは本当に楽しかった！

Also during this year, I decided to go back to my hometown. I lived again with my family after being independent for almost thirteen years. Independence surely grew into me, so it was challenging to unlearn and relearn habits. It's quite weird to go back to a really familiar place, especially now that I know that I am not the same person anymore. I sometimes wonder if relocating to a new place altogether would be so much easier. But no complaints! I am grateful for this chance that God has given me to be back here after such a looooooong time. This season also brought me back to reconnect with good old friends who were a part of the younger me.

A shot I took in my hometown while on a motorcyle.
Notice the canopy of mountains!

Iloilo City means co-journeying with these ladies again!

I mentioned about transitioning from a season of my life into somewhere else, and working with a Christian organization with which I was a part of since college made it unexpected. Indeed there are situations in life where the timing of how things happen convince you that there is something more than just coincidence. It has really been God's grace, and I thank God for this privilege to work here. What more, I get to work at home, travel at times, and rest in the identity of being just the child of The Creator of the Universe! It has been a privilege waking up everyday, being excited about getting to know Him and serving Him in this capacity that He also designed me for.

Faith and technology, they fuse so beautifully.

To top it all off, here's a 1SE (one second a day) video of what my year looked like. Not all 365 days were filled, so you'd see random selfies there (sorry about that!). January 1 opened with an immediate flight from Manila to Iloilo. I left Japan from a business trip a day before and arrived just hours before the new year. I got into a fix with my transportation, and feared being left by my plane! But all was well that ended well. Whenever I watch this video I get reminded of God's faithfulness through every season. You could notice the transitions as people enter and leave the frames. I guess you'll have to see for yourself (it's roughly five minutes)!

Apologies for some selfies. They were supposed to be fillers. 😂 

One day I might look back and see which of my life experiences brought me much change. For each and every reason I will be grateful to God in remembering that it will be this 2019. 🐳

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

James 4:13-15

P.S. I felt so "vulnerable" writing these memories down. I usually post online but I guess this one's under my category of rare. In this age of data privacy, it's ironic I had to post mine out. 😂 

Five years in a blink (and what an airport corner does to you)

I am here at the airport, waiting for a flight in an hour.
Came from a visa appointment where I got denied (though I am at peace about it), and now on a favorite coffee place in a corner of a slightly busy airplane terminal.

It's been a while, really a while, since I posted on this blog. Many a thing bloomed, some withered, others were cut off, but the bottomline is that there is growth. I have resigned from my first job after graduation and I am currently working as a freelance software developer. Even if I am not yet employed at this time, I am quite busy (and happy) with how things are going. I get to keep the part-time role as a life coach with a good addition of building communities around missions and technology.

If I were to ask myself about the current place I am in, I would say it's nothing short of amazing. Cliché you might say, but yeah, it might be, but I won't take it back. I guess there's this intersection of profession, passion, vocation and need. Some people call it ikigai but I think it's God's grace. For how long this will continue, I don't have an answer. But this movement and life of surprises is a good force to keep me hoping for the future and trust God with one day at a time.

Yes, I live with my family now, as I went back to my hometown. Our place is a good one hour and a half ride from the city. With it's share of green, leafy roadtrips, it's a bit colder there than the urban proper. I sometimes dread leaving my wee bit of comfortable working space to go meet people in the city, but I still do, because why not. More often, I get satisfied from the good conversations and realizations found from spending time with others on this season and batch of people. There are actually interesting ideas and topics that I get to immerse with at this point in time. But then before I get into the melancholy avenue, let me stop it.

I also realized that when I went back home, I first thought that it's me who will do all the adjustments. But lo and behold, people who are with me at home also did too! And while I say it was hard for me to get used to the vulnerable lifestyle after living with myself, alone, pretty, and funny, I think you realized those two adjectives aren't really part of the normal train of thought. So where was I... I think it was also hard for my immediate family members to adjust with me being there at each waking day of their lives right now. I often comfort myself into thinking they must also be thankful I am there again, but there also are times that I doubt such thought. Though it is really a good observation that they somewhat are comfortable with me being back at home.

It's funny though how I just got to start writing down these thoughts as my flight is getting close, and my bladder's acting full. I think it's a first for me to just candidly write down my thoughts and honestly, I got pretty surprised by how it turned out. I enjoyed it, too.

So before I go and leave this cozy corner of mine, let me know what you think at the comments below. I might just be at a good start of trying to dig up that voice. Alright, ja ne~

An Unposted Last Day

Today I opened my drafts. I looked at the unfinished piece that apparently went unfinished because I got distracted. I had a chuckle when I read it, so I decided to just put it out there.
I know I can't control you, but don't judge me. *nervous chuckle 

This year has been much of a roller coaster for me. I have had heartbreaks, I have had ecstatic heart flutters, and I have yet to embark on one of the most important journeys of my lifetime: passion and calling. I honestly have not been able to prepare for this post, but because I have prided myself to be able to post once a year, I should not let this LAST opportunity pass. It's December 31, and tomorrow's never gonna let me bring back this day. So while I am still fresh of the nostalgia this year brings, let me cite the lessons which God has opened and is still opening. There are alot! But this year, let's see the top five I remembered. First is vulnerability. Second is, hard work. Third,  urgency. Fourth,  stewardship, and last but definitely not the least: integrity.

I know right. Have a good day ahead!

Upward Falling

"I touch the sky, when my knees hit the ground.."

Touch the Sky by Hillsong

I suppose I could put a dramatic entry here about why my definition of regular blogging became yearly (quite amusing), and how I have arrived to a deep realization about things happening in my life lately, or even post pictures of how I have transformed throughout that span of time! Which actually I realized, I needed to put something new here, or at least an update about anything.

After two years of being in the real world, I could testify that it wasn't a joke leaving your home and live in apartments/boarding houses/condo units with other people. Plus the weight of responsibilities which meant doing laundry, cooking your meals, mamalengke, paying bills, creating a budget (and keeping it!), making sure hindi sobra ang OT and dealing with emotions (ok, that escalated a bit). Adulting is not a walk in the park! Well, it could be, but a park with dinosaurs and booby traps. But I swear, I learned a lot! Especially in how my relationship with the Lord has been tested and proven, but sometimes questioned and being answered as well. Confusions help lead to clarification, and when I usually ran away from them before, I learned to embrace them now.

There has been adventures and misadventures in my life for the past two years, and I am thinking about narrating some highlights here in my blog. It was fun revisiting them in my journal, which even refreshed my memory of the lessons which I think could benefit others when shared.

That's why starting this week, I will be posting a series of stories we could learn from, or even a picture or two. Until then!

of typographic art

As an art fanatic, I personally have been in touch with my "creationist" side. Typography has been one of my interests where I have been volunteering in as well. Just this morning while browsing some internet sites, I have been reminded that to be able to pursue typography in a higher level, learning about it and really knowing about the principles behind it comes a close second to simply doing it.

From the difference of straight and curly quotation marks to tips on what fonts to avoid, I was delighted with the fact that the author made sure that the site would own up to the topic it was about.

Creating this post was simply to share with you this site. Go, check it out:
http://practicaltypography.com/

slow and beautiful

I admit, I must be guilty for not being able to utilize this blog as much as possible. Another set of many months had to pass before I will write. Yet, the reason for my absence might just suffice.

It has been months since I left my hometown in pursuit of a job in a tech company here in Manila. Since then, I have seen myself learning and relearning lessons of life as I continue to meet new people, challenges and my self (yep).

One major thing I learned is that life isn't something I should rush. If I wanted to be pruned in character, I must be willing to get through the slow and painful method of getting hurt and learning from it. This generation has been blessed with so many gadgets and methodologies that make things happen in a snap that we forget how it feels to be stuck in slowness and the beauty of being immersed in it.

Silly how I have been such a pasaway of that lesson. Rushing studying and expecting to have excellent results always gets me frustrated. In this season of being a trainee, there's so much I have discovered in myself and in my attitude that would make me lose by default. Yet, I have learned that being able to take things slow is an attitude worth reveling in. Even caterpillars need enough time to change into a beautiful butterfly. I do believe that so do we.

By the way, as a part of taking things step by step, I have created a new blog entitled "Nihongo no nikki" which means, "Japanese Diary", as an effort to practice a new language I have been learning these days.
You might want to check it out sometime, though I can't promise a furnished grammar for that matter, though I desire to have. :)

Well then, don't hesitate to take things slow,you might get awed by the beauty that'd emerge. So as the bible says, "He has made everything right in its time". :)

Grace unresolved

I thought I died.

It has already been more than six months now since my last post, and my bittersweet desire of adding another continued to stick up the tip of my fingertips. Until now, when I realized that I couldn't run out of reasons to share what has been new in my life, that I need to translate it to words.

It all seemed just a blur for everything happened so fast, but clarity may just be seen in a single word: GRACE.

1. Our thesis was finished.
2. The Software Development project was declared "Closed"
3. I graduated from college
4. I have a job. :)

Looking back at how things unfolded, I could never understand how someone like me who can't even reach the highest of all expectations could end up blessed and privileged upon the end of my five-year journey in college. In retrospect, I could never comprehend how I had my life changed as I entered the gates of the university and now that I am leaving it towards a new horizon, I just can't get enough of the limitless possibilities of the real world. Though I believe that it's a "jungle" as they say, yet even their bloodiest stories of struggle couldn't dampen my outlook on the positive vibes the rich possibilities could bring.

Now that I am about to embark on this new book, I do have a lot of expectations. Though they might be broken or fulfilled, I just know one thing, it's still my purpose to know Him and to make Him known.

Come, the water is great for a swim. 

Let's dive towards the future, Batch 2014! :)

After eons of inactivity...

(c) Sheena Sy

As I go forth on this journey of thesis making, I usually am sidetracked by the many deceptions and distractions my mind often throws at me. Talking about a personal distraction! However, I am just reminded to always fix my eyes on the one who is constant, the One who only wants the best for me. May you be reminded of this beautiful truth as well! :)

in time.

walking in the coast of San Joaquin, Iloilo
photo by my bro

I'm quite MIA these days! And it's been so long since I have posted about what I have been through, and to tell you, it's been hard.

I was caught up with a project we have in school which I was the project leader. There are just a lot of things I have discovered about myself which led me to think if I am indeed fit for the role. Nevertheless, I praise God for He allowed me to get into such position as I am just emerging in the career track. Oh, so that's how it is to be the "ultimately responsible person for the success and the failure of the team". I admit, I shed a lot of tears and blurted a lot of anxieties before the Lord. I got into a bunch of emotional up-downs and even thought about quitting but I believe I just might as well give up on my life if I do. I realized, life is all about decisions and keeping on.

Our project isn't done yet, and there would be a lot to face. I realized, I have nothing to cover myself with for the bloody journey but with my God and my Father's words backing me up and comforting me, I believe I've got everything I need. I do see that I might be that inefficient as a Project Manager, but I thank God for giving me this opportunity. While this project's just nearing it's end, I decided to just give it my best shot. I don't want regrets in the end.

My God is the God of perfect timings and order.
perfect timings, and order.