When you get face to face with death, you'll realize life is actually simple. Not that I always face that circumstance, but yesterday was supposed to be my last. It made me think about the possible reasons why. These are the ones I came up with, and I think what happened is actually an answered prayer.
A fun and chill trip to the local waterfall became an extreme outdoor trip for me when I tried to slide down a slippery rock and got myself in a deeper part of the water, gasping for breath. Good thing someone was able to pull me out of the depths and I was able to regain balance. The back of my head throbbed like crazy. The stress and the panic caused me to even feel the ache today.
As I was processing what happened on the possibility of dying, I realized that God had answered several of my prayers that day.
First, I realized I was grateful to have people to trust. Probably some months ago, I would have beaten myself with guilt over being a burden to others around me. I might have felt bad to have lived, after causing people around me some concern over my lack of self-responsibility. I have my share of triggers and back stories that's why it could let me think about that, and the part where I felt safe to have it handled that way was an answered prayer of how God had brought me to grow in trusting His protection and security for me.
Second, a reminder on the brevity of life and living for what matters. Should I have died that day, I won't be able to experience the benefits of the money I have saved up for the future. I wouldn't have been able to appreciate the sleepless nights that let me finish some tasks when my lifeless body need not say anything more. My family won't be able to receive the realization of plans that I have been working towards because of an unfinished plan. My life should have stopped, and if I lived for something other than the eternal, then it ended just like that.
Third, the realization that I have learned to rest on God's sovereignty and protection. When I got out of the water, it took me a lot of time to process that it could be my last day. But since I was surrounded with people who could draw me out of the water immediately, the possibility of me drowning was low. But still, it doesn't change the fact that I could have died of a heart attack or shock, or something. When I left the water, I just felt at peace. I didn't think it would be a traumatic experience, but rather it helped me strengthen my resolve to learn how to swim.
I felt like I grown closer to the people whom I went with, but my hope is that I would be able to discern what louder message God wanted me to hear or realize because of that situation. For sure, I wouldn't want it to happen again, so I pray that I would be able to find what God wants to tell me as soon as possible.
I know that the moment sure was already past me, but I pray that my days ahead would be marked by intentionality that this situation would want to sink in me, pun intended.